For Divakar...
This time I'm going to post in English cuz I'm dedicating this to my Indian friend Divakar.
Both of us are secondees, me from Indonesia, him from India. This is our first time staying for quite sometime, here in Singapore, away from our homeland. We came from two different generation, as he is 13 years older than me. Yet, we became good friends since we share the same feeling, the same experience of lost, doubt, and utmost loneliness. To tell you the truth, being far away from your family and friends can put you in hell.
Being with Divakar means being with a big brother. He took care of me. He was the one who showed me how to get to the office by MRT, he accompanied me to buy my first dinner after office hour, and he was the one to whom I share my worries.
Both of us didn't enjoy Singapore very much, so we share stories of how wonderful our own homeland is just to forget our loneliness for a while. It's a new experience for me listening him speaking Kanada (one of many languages in India), singing Indian songs, eating Indian foods, and seeing his hands and head move when he speaks. He is an utter Indian!!! And on the other way...I'm an utter Indonesian (just realized how I love Indonesia hehehe)
Couple of days ago, I started to find the rythm of Singapore. It doesn't mean that I fall in love with Singapore, it's just I've made up my mind that I have to enjoy every second of being here. I started planning to go for morning walk at weekends, just to get familiar with the environment. I've also made a list of places I want to visit here and tried different dishes, the so called Singaporean taste. I've made up my mind: I HAVE TO WIN THIS BATTLE!!! and I'm excited about it.
What's sad is that in reverse to what I did, I see Divakar is starting to lose his patience. He desperately wants to go back to India. Well, I can understand that to some extent. But it's just sad seeing him without fighting spirit, without wanting to survive. Maybe because he doesn't have the big dream that I have? Maybe because his family's missing him and wants him back? I don't know why...I don't know the reason. All I know is...I might loose the one friend that I have...I might loose the only person who shares the exact same loneliness...Is it because I haven't been a good friend that he needs?.....Only Divakar holds the answer to all the questions. As to me, my battle is not over yet, it's just started, still long way to go.
A soldier knows that he might get shot or bleed to death, yet he would proceed to the war. Once one step is taken, there's no retreat until mission accomplished. Yeah, I know, I might be hurt and I may not survive...here, in no man's land...but to the battle my steps are fixed. Cuz who can tell that just over the hill, right beyond that hill, lies my victory, for me to hold and not to be taken away. Victory I will seek, there's no surrender!! So help me God....
pejuang kecil ini bernama IRA
posted by Ira @ 11:37 AM
1 Comments:
Honey, we are soldiers of fortune who fight for our own dream. With our strengths, burning desire and God's help we can conquer any uphill battle...Never give up...!!! -mg-
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